Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Getting ready to turn the page . . .

Am beginning to feel antsy about turning 50 this September. I could give a darn about the number itself. I is what I is.

What has me feeling anxious is what the number MEANS to me. It's Chapter 2 (the final chapter) of my life. And I feel this overwhelming desire to make it way better than Chapter 1 was. I'll hold onto the good memories from the first fifty. And know that all the bad stuff has helped to make Dawn Chapter 2 a better and wiser person.

I will name Chapter 2: Passionate about life, wiser about living, and still always wearing white socks.

Let's dissect this . . .

Passionate about life — Chapter 1 was all about practicality. School. Preparing for life's responsibilities. Being a single mom. Working hard to provide for the two of us. Raising a child. I want to now bring more passion to my daily existence. With Harleigh heading off to college this fall, I want to pursue more of the things that I love. MAYBE start dating; not so sure about this one. I like the plan I've had all along to trust that God will put a man in my life who belongs there, exactly where he is supposed to land. So maybe the idea is to be more open to dating (not that I've turned men away; none have come along); but I sometimes think that I give off a subconscious vibe of "not available, not thinking about it at all." Where will my work life take me? What new hobbies will lure me in? Will I wind up living somewhere different? When I think of all that happened to me years 0-49, it amazes me to think of all the life twists and turns I'll experience in the next 50. Crazy.

Wiser about living — Man, did I make some doozy mistakes and poor decisions in Chapter 1. Embarrassingly so. But I've learned a lot, wiser for the wear, and moving forward with a confidence and humbleness to make better decisions, keeping the life mistakes to a minimum. Perfection in Chapter 2? Not. But a wiser approach to life is bound to reap rewards.

And still always wearing white socks — This is a nod to my quirkiness, my comfort with being who I am. Yes, I wear white socks every day. Only white. Can't walk around barefoot in the house; always wear my white socks, even with slippers. My pants are always a little on the short side, and so my white socks are showcased for the world to see. If this makes me a "character," then I introduce you to Dawn Chapter 2, passionate, wise and quite content in her white socks.

10 comments:

Freckled Hen said...

You are such a great person! I love the way you look at things. Your words are inspirational, I am certain you will do great things in Chap 2.

Christine said...

You have taken some deep thought into Chap. 2. This is good, because it should be the best time.
What a great role model you are for Harleigh, (and the rest of us).
Get ready to celebrate, any way you want!

Rachel said...

Very introspective. I hope you are really looking forward to Chapter 2. I just turned 40 in January and I thought about it for a full year - since my 39th birthday. The cross-over wasn't so painful haha.

Bella Della said...

I love this. Love it. Partly because I always refer to my life in this way- chapters of a book. But mostly because you have so much to celebrate and so much to look forward to. And I love knowing that you wear white socks all the time- I don't know why I like knowing that but I do- makes you even more special!

xo,
Kim

karlascottage.typepad.com said...

Good for you, not everyone makes their feet comfortable in their first 50! Most younger people aren't that wise.

I have to say, 50s are wonderful. So much happier than 20s. I'm loving mine.

Empty Nest Full Life said...

You are just a few months ahead of me. When you put it as beginning chapter 2,like you I want chapter 2to be better than the first. Enjoyed hearing your perspectives. Have a blessed week. Jackie

Celestial Charms said...

I'm not far behind ya. I'll be 47 in June, so I can relate to coming upon the second chapter. It is wonderful and very productive in itself, that you have given the subject much thought. I'm sure you are in for a great adventure!
Maureen

Kb_Mal said...

I love your white socks peeking out from in between your blue pants and your brown mules. So Dawn.

Chapter 2: writing a best-seller about throwing custom, unique and thoughtful parties on a thrift store budget. Said book will allow you to do any and all hobbies.

ali said...

I think the best is yet to come — you know who you are and who you want to become. That's the trick, don't you think?

Honey said...

I imagine there is a bit of reflection when your child is getting ready to spread her wings and fly out of your nest. It appears that you have done a fantastic job getting her ready for her new adventures. I bet the mama will also have some new ones herself...in her white socks...and I hope they are fantastic!! :)

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