On Being Me

I got tagged on Instagram by a loyal follower, @hiyamippa, to list 20 facts about myself. Here's what I posted.

1) Seeing someone eat a booger will likely cause me to vomit.  When Harleigh was little I told her if she ate boogers she'd get worms in her stomach. No kidding.

2) When I was pregnant, we thought it was a boy and planned on naming him Harley; when it turned out to be a girl, we loved the name so much that we just changed the spelling to the "girl" version of the name.

3) When I leave myself a voice mail at work or home to remind myself of something, I always end it with telling myself I'm pretty and to have a great day.

4) When I'm alone, I talk out loud to myself A LOT.

5) I'm obsessed with flossing my teeth.

6) I start wearing my Christmas pins — have a collection of a bazillion — and playing Christmas music on November 1.

7) I am a distant relative of the famous newscaster Walter Cronkite. He died at 92, his mother at 101. Hope I've inherited that aging part of the gene pool.

8) I was voted Most Artistic by my senior high school class.

9) I have this thing about walking barefoot on carpet — can't do it.

10) And I love white socks. Wear them every day. Sort of a fashion-stunted dork.

11) I would have been an amazingly creative and productive stay-at-home mom.

12) I grew up with an Old English Sheepdog named Shawn, had one when I was out of college named Wyeth, and now have one named Gideon — all boys.

13) I chew my thumbs to bloody stumps; I take out all my stress and nervous tension on those two innocent digits.

14) I can't get gray fast enough. Love the gray hairs coming in on my head and brows and wish I could take a pill to make every stinkin' strand turn gray all at once.

15) I adore being alone. The occasional chat with the grocery store clerk will do me fine on a weekend as my one contact with civilization.

16) My sister makes me laugh until I wet my pants; this happens often and is encouraged.

17) The Scorpions is my favorite hair band.

18) My favorite song in the whole world is Moon River by Andy Williams.

19) If you know ATL radio, I listen to The Regular Guys every morning and wouldn't switch if ya paid me.

20) I'm a Republican and make no apologies, nor do I care to debate anyone about my stand.

Once it was out there for the world to see, I reread it and I gotta admit that I sighed in resignation, happy resignation.

I have become a character, a quirky lady living alone with her big dog.

My size 4, running 5-8 miles a day, skinny days are gone; my self these days is more defined by a grandmotherly cushion of boobs that lacks any sexuality, a place where gay men and children can lay their heads and find comfort.

My lack of confidence and contentment, an earmark of my twenties, has blossomed into a sense of peace and faith that I wish I could bottle up and hand out for free.

My dreams for the future aren't about being promoted at work and moving into a gated neighborhood. I'd be happy to live in a one-bedroom cottage at the beach making shell art and working at the town's family-owned book store.

Who knows if I will ever marry again, but for now the company of dear boy Gideon is enough to make me feel safe and loved. (But, God, if you do want me to be in a relationship, please let him be doughy, get my sense of humor and wear a Santa hat when we go out shopping at Christmastime.)

And my daughter, good gosh, my daughter. She loves me for (or despite, in some cases) the 20 facts above. And when I asked her if she read the Instragram post where I listed them, she said, "no, mom, I don't need to read them. I know you." She does, better than anyone. And adores me. White socks and all.